Ever noticed how marriage is like martial arts? Both require skill, balance, and occasionally dodging a flying shoe. Here’s how different martial arts styles mirror different types of marriages—no black belts required, just love (and maybe a little sarcasm).
1. Tai Chi Marriage: The Zen Masters
Slow moves, fewer sh%hows.*
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Their arguments look like a synchronized meditation session.
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Disagreements end with herbal tea and a mutual vow to “let the universe handle it.”
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They’ve mastered the art of not reacting when someone forgets to take out the trash… for the 47th time.
Secret Weapon: Breathing exercises > yelling.
2. Karate Marriage: The Disciplined Duo
“Yes, Sensei!” meets “Yes, honey!”
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Their love language is structure. Date nights are color-coded in their shared Google Calendar.
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They bow respectfully before debating whose turn it is to fold laundry.
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Fights are rare, but when they happen, it’s a perfectly roundhouse-kicked burn: “Your mother’s meatloaf is dry… and so are your jokes.”
Black Belt Perk: They’ve never missed a mortgage payment.
3. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Marriage: The Grapple Squad
Chaotic, sweaty, weirdly functional.
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They thrive in chaos. Toddler meltdown? Leaky roof? Bring. It. On.
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Every problem is a team takedown. (“I’ll pin the baby, you grab the diapers!”)
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Their motto: “The floor is lava… and so is our love.”
Submission Move: Tag-team parenting.
4. Capoeira Marriage: The Playful Partners
Marriage? More like a dance battle.
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Fights devolve into TikTok duets. (“Why are you mad? I’m flossing my anger away!”)
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They turn grocery shopping into a “who can sneak the most snacks into the cart” game.
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Their biggest argument? Whether pineapple belongs on pizza (it does, fight us).
Signature Move: Laughter so loud the neighbors think they’re wrestling.
5. Krav Maga Marriage: The Survivalists
“Love is war” (but make it cute).
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They’ve survived 3 kids, 2 layoffs, and a pet iguana. Together.
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Arguments are short, intense, and end with a truce over emergency chocolate.
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Their love is like Krav Maga: messy, practical, and weirdly romantic.
Battle Cry: “WE’RE STILL HOLDING HANDS, AREN’T WE?!”
6. Judo Marriage: The Balanced Throwdown 🤼♂️⚖️
“Use their energy, don’t fight it.” (Also applies to toddlers.)
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Disagreements become teamwork opportunities. “You want Thai food? I want pizza? Let’s judo-flip this into… sushi night!”
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They’ve perfected the Ippon (full-point throw) of compromise: “Fine, I’ll fold your laundry… if you unclog the shower drain.”
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Fights end with a literal bow. Respect. ✨
Secret Weapon: Leveraging each other’s quirks like a pro. “Your stubbornness? Perfect for negotiating with the cable company.”
7. Aikido Marriage: The Harmonious Flow 🌀🙏
Where arguments go to evaporate.
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They redirect complaints like Jedi. “You’re mad I forgot our anniversary? Let’s channel that energy into a spontaneous weekend getaway!”
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Their fights look like a mindfulness podcast. “I hear your frustration… let’s breathe and realign with our shared hatred of laundry.”
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Even passive aggression gets a zen makeover: “The dishes in the sink? Merely an opportunity for us to grow… together. 🧘♀️”
Signature Move: Turning a snarky comment into a hug. “You’re so bad at parallel parking… and I’m so grateful you drive.”
Final Bow
Whether your marriage is a serene Tai Chi flow or a Capoeira dance-off, remember: the best partnerships aren’t about perfection. They’re about showing up, sweating through the chaos, and occasionally blocking a verbal jab about leaving dishes in the sink.
Tag your partner and reveal your #MarriageStyle!
(No martial arts were harmed in the making of this post. Marriages? Debatable.)
#MarriageMasters #MartialArtsAndMatrimony #LoveIsADojo #CoupleGoals
P.S. If your marriage is none of these, you might be in a Ninja Marriage.
If your marriage is a mix of all these styles, you’re basically MMA Married. Ten points for adaptability. 🏆 (Now go ice your emotional bruises.)